How do you introduce sex toys into your relationship??

Introducing Sex Toys

Most experts agree that communication is the key to any great sexual relationship. But that is sometimes easier said than done. Sometimes one or both parties are too shy to talk about sex. Some men and women are intimidated by sex toys. Some feel that their partner’s desires to use these devices are caused by their own inadequacies in the bedroom. Often times we are afraid to bring up changes we would like to make in the bedroom because we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.

It is inevitable in long term relationships that at some point one or both of you will feel dissatisfied with your sexual relationship. Sex is not happening as frequently as before, it is not as intense, it has become routine, or you find yourself scheduling time for sex, or you are so stressed out from everything else in life that you aren’t feeling quite up to par in the bedroom. This happens to the best of us. How you deal with it determines if you will sink or swim.

One of the most common questions I receive in my line of work is “How do I let him/her know I want to use these toys with them?”. I wasn’t surprised to learn that most women use vibrators only when they are alone. I think as a society there seems to be a stigma attached to masturbation that is more prevalent in women. But that is a whole new topic, so let’s get back to our original question. How do you introduce toys without offending or shocking your partner? As women I think it is easier for us to introduce the idea than men. I have been in more than one relationship where the topic has come up, sometimes by me, sometimes by the man.

Now with my husband it was pretty easy. He knew from the beginning that I was a fan of sex toys and had no problems and no reservations with it. When it came to actually introducing toys into our sex life, I chose the path of least resistance. He was going down on me when I reached down and placed a toy in his hand. This was a very effective approach. In the past I had tried various other approaches, one of which was a trip to the local sex shop and picking out a toy together. Browsing toys together online if you are too shy to go into a sex shop. Another time, I sent video footage of myself playing with a toy to my boyfriend at the time. (The latter I still do with my husband every now and then when he is at work.)

For men I believe it is a lot harder to broach the subject with women. They don’t want their partners to be offended, or put off by the idea. I wouldn’t suggest going out and buying a toy to use in the bedroom without consulting your partner first. The main reason for this is comfort. Toys come in various shapes and sizes and have many different functions. Some have clit stimulators, some are made of glass, some have pointed tips, some rotate, others heat up, and the list goes on and on. Another factor that needs to be considered is material. A lot of toys are made out of latex, and a lot of women are allergic to latex. So going in blind and trying to surprise your girl could lead to a catastrophe.

One of the best suggestions I have had when it comes to men introducing sex toys is to start small. Vibrating cock rings for example. There are millions of designs out there. These are not as intimidating as a full sized vibrator, it is something that you will use together and it is a great way to introduce the subject. If it is something that she enjoys, it makes approaching the subject of bigger toys much easier. Another suggestion is if she doesn’t feel comfortable going into a sex shop or if she doesn’t feel comfortable with you there; get her a gift card to an online store. Yes I will insert my shameful plug here. www.Alonetimepleasures.com does offer gift certificates email me for details. This way she can shop from the comfort of her home, in private and the items will be shipped to her. This idea is also much more effective when you want to buy lingerie (which we also sell). I know that I myself have been offended by some of the unflattering lingerie selections that I have received in the past. Unless you really know your partner’s size and style choices I would strongly suggest a gift card.

Introducing vibrators can open the door to many great sexual adventures. Once that line of communication is open it makes it much easier to introduce new ideas, from bondage to video cameras to anal play. The possibilities are endless, and the rewards are priceless.